Monday, September 19, 2011

Note to SELF?


Ever since I got pregnant with the gremlins I wanted to be one of THOSE mommy's you know, perfect in every way.  WHAT was I thinking?  I am warped, demented AND a procrastinator, and it'll take a LOT more than a few sessions, some pills and ton of alcohol to cure that (although the last two sound kind of fun, not that I condone that kind of behavior of course and kiddie, NEVER mix...bwahahahahaha).  I had a very fantastical idea of what motherhood would be like, a huge list of things I would not do and would do, and let's not even mention the perfect little angels that would emerge from my ever so perfect womb <Insert hysterical, sarcastic laughter HERE>.

That quickly went out the window on week one, when I was thrown head first into diapering, feeding, changing, and caring nonstop for 2 tiny humans.  I quickly realized I wasn't in Kansas anymore, and as my little bubble burst so did many of my expectations...

I know I wanted to give them everything I didn't have and more. 
  • It started with the baby books, I tried I SWEAR!!! They're upstairs in their bookcase 1/2 filled without a single picture.  
  • I wanted to write them a letter in their journal every day, OK every week, OK every month?  I think there are two letters... You DO know how many kids I have right? YUP if you got ONE letter each you did your math right (they're gonna be 4 in a few months).  
  • I started this blog to document important milestones, and have a way of looking back, well, if you've been following me for a while... This TOO has been slacking, and filled more with my lunatic rants than Gremlin awesomeness....
  • I said I wasn't going to be the mom to have her kids sleep in her bed only to find herself trapped and NEVER a moment alone with her husband, FAIL!!! Still haven't booted them out, HECK they call it THEIR bed.
  • Never yell.
  • Never loose control.
  • Never drive drunk, and add rum to their juice so they'd fall asleep faster... (just kidding, wanted to see if you were STILL paying attention.. Hell I wouldn't blame you I sometime bore MYSELF.. )
Well, I guess you get the point... I HOPE I'm not alone.. I HOPE there's a light at the end of this long winding self loathing tunnel..  HEY, on the bright side... I'm posting TODAY...  and I'm going to bring those baby books down and fill them out if it kills me DAMN IT!!! (That's code for now they will collect dust in the LIVING ROOM instead... Bwahahhaaha)

(BOY I thought this was going to make me feel a little better about myself..but NOPE!!! . Bwahahahahaha)





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