Ever since I got pregnant with the gremlins I wanted to be one of THOSE mommy's you know, perfect in every way. WHAT was I thinking? I am warped, demented AND a procrastinator, and it'll take a LOT more than a few sessions, some pills and ton of alcohol to cure that (although the last two sound kind of fun, not that I condone that kind of behavior of course and kiddie, NEVER mix...bwahahahahaha). I had a very fantastical idea of what motherhood would be like, a huge list of things I would not do and would do, and let's not even mention the perfect little angels that would emerge from my ever so perfect womb <Insert hysterical, sarcastic laughter HERE>.
That quickly went out the window on week one, when I was thrown head first into diapering, feeding, changing, and caring nonstop for 2 tiny humans. I quickly realized I wasn't in Kansas anymore, and as my little bubble burst so did many of my expectations...
I know I wanted to give them everything I didn't have and more.
- It started with the baby books, I tried I SWEAR!!! They're upstairs in their bookcase 1/2 filled without a single picture.
- I wanted to write them a letter in their journal every day, OK every week, OK every month? I think there are two letters... You DO know how many kids I have right? YUP if you got ONE letter each you did your math right (they're gonna be 4 in a few months).
- I started this blog to document important milestones, and have a way of looking back, well, if you've been following me for a while... This TOO has been slacking, and filled more with my lunatic rants than Gremlin awesomeness....
- I said I wasn't going to be the mom to have her kids sleep in her bed only to find herself trapped and NEVER a moment alone with her husband, FAIL!!! Still haven't booted them out, HECK they call it THEIR bed.
- Never yell.
- Never loose control.
- Never drive drunk, and add rum to their juice so they'd fall asleep faster... (just kidding, wanted to see if you were STILL paying attention.. Hell I wouldn't blame you I sometime bore MYSELF.. )
(BOY I thought this was going to make me feel a little better about myself..but NOPE!!! . Bwahahahahaha)
X0X0 Always 0X0X,