Monday, January 24, 2011

Dr's Visit, The Good, The Bad, and The Hilarious

I had surgery a few weeks ago, and honestly not sure if I mentioned it or not, and I'm too lazy to go back to my previous posts and check... SORRY!!  But, today I had my follow up.. Let me warn ya now, if you are one of those that are VERY easily offended, and every little thing is TMI, you've been warned... This was a coochie doctor, so pass this post up if it MAY make ya say eeeewwwwww..

So, in my mind this was just a simple follow up, sit down, discuss the procedure that had been done, the findings, etc... No undressing to be done, so I headed there with the gremlins in tow.  Once we get in the exam room the nurse hands me a gown and advises me he will want to do a pelvic exam and to undress from he waist down.. OH MAN!!! My legs weren't shaved, I don;t even think I put LOTION on, and the gremlins... THE GREMLINS..
I'm going to traumatize them early... I KNOW the day will come when these little beauties will have their moment on those wonderful stirrups, in the most unbearable position imaginable, but I had NO intention of exposing them THIS way, or THIS early.  Here we go, I had no choice really, I don't have family here and no one to leave them with even if I had known. 

So, I start to undress...

K1: Mom?
Me: Yes Punky?
K1: Where are your pants?
Me: On the table.
K2: You're taking off your PANTIES?
Me: Yes baby.
K2: For the DOCTOR?
Me:/sigh/ Yes Baby.
K1: He's going to look at your Privates?
Me: /sigh/ Yes baby, now I need you both to sit right over there (picked a nice place next to my head as to try and minimize the questions later) and be good little girls for mommy and the Dr.

Well, THAT seemed to work, and he was AMAZING, talked to them kept them entertained while he did what he had to do, and made an already unpleasant situation a little bearable.  Turns out not ALL the news was good news, and more tests will have to be done... Cancer is a tricky little bugger.. But there was optimism in his words, and that was comforting. 

After all was said and done, we headed home, and NOT a word of this was ever mentioned by either of them.. This seems kind of weird and out of the ordinary for these two.. I can guarantee you that when I least expect it, and in the most embarrassing situation this WILL come back to haunt me. 

I can see it now.... In the supermarket or something in an aisle full of men, one of them will undoubtedly bring up the day I took off my pants and panties and laid down for some man.  Like that time we were buying bandaids and wizzed by the femnine products and they grabbed a box of tampons and screamed look mommy bandaids for your booty...

X0X0 Always 0X0X, . . . . . . .

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  1. oh my gosh, yeah, that's gonna come back & bite you in the ... well, probably somewhere round about the cooch region when they bring it up at church or during a playdate with friends. "that man had his face by mommy's private parts when she was laying down." oi vey! poor, poor mommy!

  2. LMAO! It's always those moments! Following you now!


  3. Thanks for joining us at Makin' Me Crazy Monday! Hope you had a great day! Following you!

  4. Oh my lord!! I had to do the same with my infant son on a gyno trip before. Kept him in the carseat, he was a newborn, but the easy part, not having to answer his questions. Wow!! Hopefully it is forgotten and not mentioned later! ;)

    Heather From and Mommy Only Has Two Hands! and Lynhea Designs

  5. Ha! Yeah they will bring it up later when you least expect it. It is always that way. At least they were good for you there and obviously weren't so tramautized that they had a million questions afterward - or maybe they were stunned into silence? Only time will tell, lol!

    Hope the tests come out in your favor girl! Really I hate to hear about the Big C so much these days! Scary!

    Thinking of ya! And I am glad you posted this bc you had mentioned the surgery before you went in and I was waiting for you to update us, but was afraid to ask just in case you did not want to share! :)


  6. Band aids for your body I love it!! :) Your daughters are gorgeous!

    I'm your newest follower from Meet and Follow Sunday! I'd love for you to meet and follow my blog back! :)


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