The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear ' the rules '
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '
ON PURPOSE!
(can't count any higher, or take the time to prioritize?)
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
(Neither are we)
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
(It was meant to be down, get over it)
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
(so are social events with family.. if i have to put up with sports, you have to be nice to ALL the in-laws)
1. Crying is blackmail.
(So, don't cry)
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
(and when we do, we're being bitchy or bossy... sometimes it's easier when you THINK it's YOUR idea...)
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
(Remember that when you want an explanation...)
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
(if you hadn't driven them all away, I'd have some)
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
(ANYTHING you say or do can be held against you... it's an ACTUAL fact, just because you want to list your MAN laws doesn't give you the right to play judge AND jury... and if we're gonna have rules for selective amnesia... let me know..)
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
(if you think you're small, you probably are, if you doubt you've satisfied us, you probably haven't so don't ask us)
1. If something we said can be interpreted
(You're being a hypocrite here... you want us to say what we mean, so, you need to mean what you say.. don't be lazy put some thought into it.)
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
(again it goes back to you labeling us bitchy or bossy.. or crying because you don't feel your worth.. make up your minds)
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
( We did, you STILL weren't paying attention)
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
(REALLY? We're gonna use HIM as a reference? REALLY? The man was SOOOO Off his mark it's not even funny. Do you think this HELPS the cause?)
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
(AAAWWWW Only played with the box of 16 crayons did we?)
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
(If it's in the way it will be trashed)
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothings wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
(When we say nothing, it means it'd take to long to get you to understand if EVER, it's not worth the hassle)
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
(We usually try and keep it simple for you anyhow, just to make you fell involved)
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
Really
(We really don't value your fashion opinion, WE picked out YOUR outfit for Christ's sakes.. again another instance of making YOU feel important)
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or motor sports.
(We just assume it's nothing)
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Leave us a comment on what you would use this card for, and you're favorite genre or song (anything ,music related is fine... it's an easy giveaway).......
Earn extra credit!
You may do these for extra entries.
- Blog about this giveaway and send me the link in a separate post.. (will count as 3 entries, and ask folks to let me know YOU sent them... You'll get an entry for EACH of theirs)
- Subscribe to my feed and let me know about it in a separate post.
- Follow me on twitter and tweet about this giveaway... include @Mommyinondfly... and leave me a link in comments.
- Add my button.... Let me know about it in a separate post!
- or just plain become a follower, and let me know in a separate post.
That's 5 extra chances to win!!!! and a ton of chances for extra entries.Good luck!US entries only, winner will be chosen via random.org at the end of the contest. Winners will be posted here, please leave a valid email address or blog address if you'd like to be contacted should you win. Winner has 48 hours to claim their prize, or another number will be drawn. This contests ends at 11:59 pm EST on MARCH 15, 2009.
Leave us a comment on what has been your toughest decision as a parent, or what you hate to have to decide on.......
Earn extra credit!
You may do these for extra entries.
- Blog about this giveaway and send me the link in a separate post.. (will count as 3 entries, and ask folks to let me know YOU sent them... You'll get an entry for EACH of theirs)
- Subscribe to my feed and let me know about it in a separate post.
- Follow me on twitter and tweet about this give away... include @Mommyinondfly... and leave me a link in comments.
- Add my button.... Let me know about it in a separate post!
- or just plain become a follower, and let me know in a separate post.
That's 5 extra chances to win!!!! and a ton of chances for extra entries.Good luck!US entries only, winner will be chosen via random.org at the end of the contest. Winners will be posted here, please leave a valid email address or blog address if you'd like to be contacted should you win. Winner has 48 hours to claim their prize, or another number will be drawn. This contests ends at 11:59 pm EST on MARCH 01, 2009.
Your eyes, your smile, the crinkle in your nose when you laugh, how you squint your eyes when you first see my face in the morning, the way you smell, your hair, your laughter, it sometimes makes me cry, the way you play with your shadows, the silly names you guys have for things, the way you dance, the way you sing, how you both go running to the tub at the sound of running water, your hugs, your kisses, your tenderness, your stubbornness, the way you giggle with each other when you guys are a little too tired, your playfulness, the way you call me mama, your patience, and so much more, but most of all... Mommy loves the fact that you are mine, and I Love YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
I am bound to this little meme if you will thanks to my buddy Brett, who must think I have nothing to do all day...
25 random things
Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.
1. I have no patience for ignorance..
2. Can't stay away from the Sci-fi channel
3. Talk to myself when no one is looking.
4. Miss "me time".
5. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING in the world can prepare you for being a parent.
6. Am a big sissy when it comes to disciplining my girls.
7. Think it's ok NOT to forgive.
8. Don't like dogs OR cats.
9. Resent the fact that I've gotten sooooo out of shape.…
10. Ready to admit I'm not the super mom I thought I was gonna be.
11. Sing show tunes (off key of course)
12. Wish I could stop being so judgmental.
13. Like the fact that hubby's birthday, The girl's birthday, My birthday, and my anniversary are all in November.
14. hubby and I have the same number of letters in our first, middle and of course last name.
15. NO ONE knows me like my hubby.
16. I thought with all those years taking care of nieces and nephews I was ready, I thought I had this covered... Come to find out… I wasn't ready, and ain't shit covered...…
17. I don't think life would be worth living without hubby or the girls.
18.Die hard Horror junkie .
19. I learned I can survive on 1/2 to 4 hours of sleep a night and still function.
20. I don't understand hypocrisy.
21. It was worth the 13 year wait to become a mom.
22. Cry at the drop of a dime.
23. I hate the fact that I used to be the person that finished EVERYthing they started before moving on to the next, and have become the person who can't finish her own..
Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.
I usually don't this kind of stuff, but I'm bored. So here we go
1. I hate leaving messages voice mail.
2. I love my wife, we've been together for 15 years.
3. I love being in the Navy
4. if you just want to go some where and get drunk Halifax, Nova Scotia is the place for you. The best port I've been to in North America.
5. NYC is probably #2
6. I have lived in grthrth going on 10 years, the longest I have stayed in one place, but I still refer to htyujtu as home.
7. Hafia, Israel will always hold a special place in my heart. (This is where my wife and I started dating during our first deployment together)
8. I'm a total Star Wars geek.
9. To my LaMadd family we had some great times, I miss you guys
10. My time in Italy was great, it is where I met and fell in love with my wife.
11. Living in America is great, but sometimes the pace is to fast.
12.Taking care of my girls will be the most important thing I ever do in my life.
13. I have skied the foothills of the Alps and inside a mall in Dubai. How many people can say that.
14. I'm a little of a mama's boy
15. BM1 Griffin has influenced me the most in my Naval Career.
16. I have a bit of a temper.
17. I once had a $650 a month bar tab
18. I would like to thank Lisa, she saved me from myself, if it wasn't I wouldn't be the person I am today.
19. If you are ever in the mood to go somewhere different, try Malta in the summer time, a beautiful country in the Med.
20. If my whole family would move with me I would live overseas.
21. I still refuse to watch movies or shows about 9/11, not enough time has passed.
22. My dad is my Hero
23. I'm scared to death about what I'm going to do when I retire from the Navy, I've been doing this for so long.
24. When did I become a responsible adult.
25. and last but not least I hope my daughters grow up in a world where terrorism is Non-existent. Never forget the men, woman and children who died on September 11.
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