Saturday, July 12, 2008

And I STILL think I'm ready for this?

I always considered myself a well rounded person, open minded and good with kids. I always loved children, I wanted to start a family at 18. Obviously things didn't work out that way, I wasn't married till I was 23 but we started trying right away. In the meantime, I enjoyed our nieces and our nephew thoroughly.

I love those kids, and could play with them endlessly. My sister lives nearest to us and her two children are kind of like our own too. We always joked around, because we sometimes spent more time with them than their own parents. So, needless to say, for 13 long agonizing years we tried for our own with no luck. Those were trying times very emotional and very difficult emotionally (that story is for a whole new blog.. I'm trying not to get side tracked). FINALLY last year we found out we were expecting, and I swore I was READY. I mean I have had ALOT of practice, from caring for my younger siblings when we were younger to now caring for their children. I have done it all from playing, providing, changing diapers, etc. how hard could this mommy thing REALLY be? I'm READY! We find out we are pregnant with twins. Can't be TOO hard, I'm READY. 34 weeks of pregnancy, some really hard and scary moments and By then? I was READY... Then unexpectedly, I was in Labor, and sitting there with all the doctors, and the lights, ooohhh man, one thought came to mind. I'm NOT ready... Then double duty every night, I'm not ready. No sleep, No help, No husband home, I'm NOT ready.
and Now 7 months later,
I have been having the adventure of a life time, but I'm ready to declare, all the practice in the world can not prepare you for parenthood. I swore I had it down and I was ready. This is a whole new world, and I'm loving every minute of it, but I'm NOT ready.

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